Don’t Do It, Monica

Dear Ms. Lewinsky –

I get it.

I get that Bill Clinton has built himself a fine former Presidency where he remains adored and respected by half the population, while you’ve been continually dogged by your role in the scandal that bears your name.

I get that you’ve been unable to have a normal career, a normal life, because of your affair with then-President Clinton.

I get that you were young and horny and traipsing around the White House with your panties in a squish because the President of the United States was sooo handsome and sooo powerful and he really seemed to like like you.

I get that you must be filled with some kind of bad-news emotional cocktail.

And so you’re shopping the idea around New York publishers of writing a tell-all book in which you’ll reveal all the sordid details of your affair with the Commander in Chief.

Well, you shouldn’t. You just shouldn’t.

America doesn’t need more sleaze. We don’t need to read about how you idolized Mr. Clinton, fantasized about him, then finally got him alone and the subject of “is” came up. We certainly don’t need you to falsely portray the whole thing as though you were a victim, but nor do we want to hear about how you participated fully and happily in the affair, tryst after tryst, repeatedly demeaning the office of the Presidency and doing your part of making a mockery of America.

Indeed, there was a third party involved in your affair, and it wasn’t Bill’s wife. It was us – America. We were involved, on a daily basis, in the tawdry details of your horrible decisions. We were embarrassed and humiliated, as a people and a nation. And frankly, we do not need to revisit it. We don’t need to hear again the details, or see again the pictures, or read the shallow recollections of a starstruck woman who thought it was SUPER COOL to follow her loins straight into the secret room behind the Oval Office.

I don’t say all this because I support Bill Clinton and want to protect him. No, far from it – I think he deserves whatever embarrassment and humiliation he gets. I think he squandered whatever brilliance and political capital he once had. I do not respect him, and couldn’t care less how your book might affect him.

But here’s the thing: you squandered too. You took the opportunity of a lifetime – an internship in the White House – and wasted it. You took something that hundreds of other hard-working college students would have probably given their left arm to have, and you turned it into a “Letter to Penthouse.”

We have moved on, Monica. We are over you. It’s time for you to get over yourself.

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