Sheep poo paper. No really.

From the in-house organ of a local print shop (see another classic print-shop tidbit here) comes the happy news that tree-free paper… long relegated to the realm of other plant materials like hemp, corn husks and banana peels (”Hey Cheech, does your Lillian Vernon catalog smell like weed?”)… is now being made of sheep dung.

That’s right, a company in Wales called Sheep Poo Paper uses their product to make postcards, stationery and greeting cards.

Which leads me to wonder, what other documents might be suitable for this bona fide shit paper? A few that come to mind:

  • Congressional bills
  • Utility bills
  • Supreme Court Dissenting Opinions
  • Tax returns
  • Eviction notices
  • And of course, any book by Hillary Clinton (okay that was too easy).

Says the Sheep Poo website, “We take great care to collect super-fresh sheep poo from the beautiful (and rainy) mountains of rural Wales and take it back to the mill…”

Which means, that they must actually employ people to collect the wet poo and transport it. You think your job sucks? How’d you like to be a Welsh shit schlepper?

It does make me wonder whether the job pays well… and whether it’s automated to any degree.

I’m always a little amazed at the sincerity of the “green” movement (see previous horrific response to the notion of sea sponge tampons)… being a typical self-centered resource-waster myself, it amazes me that people will devote their lives to the concept that even though the earth has been in existance for millions of years, little old humans have managed to fuck it up beyond repair in the 200 years since the industrial revolution. I’ll admit to being almost completely uneducated on this whole topic, but doesn’t that seem a little far-fetched, illogical, and … well, self-centered?

At any rate, I think the tree-free paper movement is something that Al Gore should really champion. And yes, I’m only saying that because I think the sheep-shit-schlepping thing would be a great photo opp for him.

Editor’s note: This post originally appeared in February, 2007.

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